Whoosh goes the Fat Viking

I can see how some people would be biased towards online learning. It only takes one look at the photograph in that article to understand why.

"It's a more positive learning environment because it is not defined by time and space."

Holy fuck! Has this beastly women taken String Theory to a new level and developed a Theory of Everything without telling the rest of us?

"It is totally flexible for the teacher and students, which removes the stress of having to turn up on time and in the right mood."

This has been my argument in favour of cyber-sex since 1994.

All correspondence is by email rather than posted on a website.

Thank god noone has to see my fat ugly arse anymore. No more closet crying over fat viking jokes.

"Martin has previously done masters degrees and says he is getting a lot more time and attention from me online," Dr Foster said. "I would write to him every day.

Well fuck me. I'll definitely be doing my next relationship over online-learning then.

"There is a kind of intimacy in the communications and more space for self-expression than there is in a classroom.

Like not being able to see or hear anyone. I'm so much more comfortable with myself. I can now masturbate in class.

"People don't seem to be intimidated to say what they feel on the email because they aren't being looked at."

Key phrase - "looked at". But anyway it's the typical claim of "mine is bigger than yours". When you don't have to prove it everyone is a big dick.

Basically, give me a fucking break. I suggest everyone who thinks online learning is superior and never leaves their home for fear of people spitting at them and throwing half-empty twistie packets at their back starts walking at least an hour a day. Get comfortable with your image. It'll do wonders.