The Art of Procrastination and The Order of Things

I'm only documenting this because it happens throughout most of the day. Every day. I understand that I will have necessarily had to procrastinate equally as long to observe this compulsive procrastination, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing this for the betterment of humanity.

Here is a small snippet in time (approximately 45 odd minutes) which describes the actions of possibly the most extreme and perverted procrastinator I've ever seen. He's been at my current place of work for just on 2 weeks. I haven't seen him do any work the entire time he's been there. He's had conversations about hypothetical situations and potential ideas or designs, but I haven't seen him actually *do* anything.

Update: for those of you who don't believe this actually happened - believe me. I typed this in exactly the correct order and at precisely timed intervals while he did it.

[4:30pm]
clicking repeatedly on individual days in a Lotus Notes weekly calendar view.. then back to clicking repeatedly through windows.. staring at screen.. clicking through windows again.. scroll down 10 lines through code.. click through windows repeatedly.. click repeatedly through individual days in a Lotus Notes weekly calendar view.. click repeatedly through windows.. stare at a command prompt with output text in it.. rub hair repeatedly.. stare at a command prompt with output text in it.. rub hair.. click through windows.. scroll up through code by about 100 lines.. stare at code and rub chin thoughtfully.. click through windows.. scroll down through code by about 100 lines.. click through windows repeatedly (for about 2 minutes this time).. scroll up through code by about 10 lines.. rub hair and face repeatedly.. click through windows repeatedly.. scroll up and down through java code repeatedly.. look at code and rub hair.. click through windows repeatedly..

[4:45]
use the keyboard! go to yahoo mail.. check mail.. read email from Peoplebank¹.. click through windows repeatedly.. stare at empty MS Word window (no open document).. click repeatedly through windows.. rub hair repeatedly.. scroll up and down through yahoo mail inbox.. open email.. pick up the phone.. put the phone down (without calling anyone).. appear to be reading email²..

[4:50]
click repeatedly through windows.. open email from Peoplebank.. click repeatedly through windows.. rub hair repeatedly.. stare at intranet homepage.. type(!) url in window (without pressing enter).. click through several windows.. go back to browser and ponder url.. alt tab to yahoo mail window.. logout of yahoo mail.. log back into yahoo mail.. open previous email.. pick up phone.. dial a number.. click through a few windows..

[4:55]
speak to someone in Chinese³..

[5:01]
hang up.. start clicking repeatedly through windows again.. rub hair repeatedly.. go back to clicking repeatedly through windows again.. sigh⁴.. stare at code.. rub hair.. click repeatedly through windows (for several minutes).. rub face and hair and stare at command prompt.. go back to clicking through multiple windows..

[5:07]
start scrolling through code with the keyboard.. stop.. rub hair.. pick up pen.. look around.. put pen down.. lean back and start repeatedly stroking hair.. go back to clicking through windows..

[5:13] Get out of chair.. walk outside..

[5:15] Sit back down.. begin clicking through windows repeatedly again.. click repeatedly on individual days in a Lotus Notes weekly calendar view (which he continues for the next minute or so)..

And we've come full circle.

What is to be done with such people? I really don't know, but I would like to leave you with a quote from peoplebank.com.au:

"Some agencies throw up resumes in a shotgun approach. Peoplebank don't do that. They are willing to spend time getting to know my business, and that allows them to put up quality candidates, with the right technical skills who will fit into my team.

¹ http://www.peoplebank.com.au - "Are you ready to deal with a company
that is empowered to perform?"
² perhaps the first thing that could result in work?
³ using torturously stretched, sighing phrases...
⁴ this is obviously becoming quite taxing